Supporting a Loved One With Memory Problems: A Practical Guide

Noticing memory changes in a parent, partner or friend is hard. You may worry about upsetting them, or about what the changes could mean. This guide covers how to start the conversation, what a medical evaluation involves, and practical ways to help day to day.

Starting the conversation

• Pick a calm, private moment, not during a stressful event or in front of others.
• Lead with care, not a list of mistakes. "I've noticed you seem more stressed about keeping track of things. How are you feeling about it?"
• Mention that many causes are treatable, such as vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, sleep issues or medication side effects. That makes a doctor's visit feel less frightening.
• Offer to go with them.

Getting a proper evaluation

Start with their primary care doctor. An evaluation usually includes a conversation about symptoms, a medication review, simple memory tests, a physical exam and blood tests. Depending on the results, the doctor may refer them to a specialist.

Before the appointment, write down specific examples of changes and when they started, and bring a complete list of medications and supplements, including any brain supplements. Some supplement ingredients, including ginkgo, can interact with prescription medicines.

Day-to-day support

• Keep routines consistent: meals, walks and bedtime at similar times.
• Use a large calendar, a whiteboard and labelled drawers.
• Use a pill organizer and set reminders for medications.
• Keep keys, glasses and phone in one fixed place.
• Simplify choices, and give one instruction at a time.
• Protect their independence: help with, rather than take over, tasks they can still do.
• Encourage exercise, social contact and activities they enjoy.

Safety

Watch for signs that driving, cooking or managing money has become risky. Consider automatic bill payments, stove shut-off devices and a trusted contact for their bank. If there's any sudden change in memory, speech or confusion, seek urgent medical care.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone with memory problems is demanding. Share the load with other family members, accept offers of help, and look into local caregiver support groups. Your own sleep, health and time off matter too.

A note on supplements

Families often ask whether a memory supplement will help. No supplement treats memory disorders, and a loved one with memory problems should see a doctor before starting any. Bring the bottle to the appointment so the doctor can check it against their medications.